I Don't Get It
by Eveilae
Summary: Pinako hates it when Hoenheim starts talking alchemy. Whenever he does, she feels stupid, even when she knows enough to differentiate right from wrong. Then why does she let him touch her?


_I do not own Full Metal Alchemist/Hagane no Renkinjutsushi._

**Yes, yes I _know _highly improbable. Bite me, I like the Pinako/Hohenheim love, no matter how unlikely it may be. **

**Note, this takes place (in my timeline) a year before he actually marries Trisha, several years before they had Ed, and more than a decade before Trisha dies. Pinako hasn't shrunk yet. Why? Because I said so. XP I also named Pinako's husband Jacob. I don't know if they say his name in the manga, but I'm pretty sure they don't.

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**I Don't Get It**

**We can pretend we understand Nietzsche.**

Pinako looks up at Hohenheim, her eyes serious and slightly angry. "I hate it when you start spouting that alchemist garbage," she hisses, and turns back to her work. For some reason, she's always working when he comes. He never comes around when she's sipping coffee or beer alone in the kitchen.

"Is it because you only understand half of it?" he retorts, leaning lazily against her doorframe. She snorts, as if that's the farthest thing from the truth, though she'd never admit it's probably the closest.

"You're such a prick, Hohenheim. Get out of my house, and go to hell." She doesn't say this seriously, and even if she did, she had a feeling he would only leave if he really wanted to.

"I think I'm going to marry her," he goes on, almost as if he's speaking to himself. He doesn't this wholly on purpose, though, and despite the fact Pinako _knows_ this, she looks back at him in surprise.

"Who? Trisha?" They've talked about her a while, his newest girlfriend. He's had a few in all the time she's known him—which has been a while. She's the only one to pique her interest for so long an interval. She much be _something_.

"Yeah." He shoots Pinako a mischievous sidelong glance, and smirks. "You'll hold a special place in my heart, though, dear one." Pinako goes back to her work before he can catch her blush. She hates it when he plays with her even worse than when he talks science.

She jumps when she feels his arms around her waist, and she nearly succeeds in chopping off her arm. "Hohenheim, get your arms outta my way before I completely mess up this automail!" Her threat falls upon deaf ears, though, because not only do his arms refuse to move, but his breath tickles her right ear. She shivers, almost without meaning to.

"C'mon, Pinako, isn't it about time you took a break?" His voice has a calming quality to it, which even tough-as-nails Pinako can't sidestep, not when he's whispering in her ear.

"That sounds nice," she responds vaguely, before being jolted to her senses. "No!" she cries, pulling herself away from him. "Jacob may be dead, but I'm not going to reduce his memory to nothing by doin' something with you. Plus, you've got a girl yourself! Didn't you just tell me you're planning on marrying her?"

He sighs, as if it's too much trouble to explain it. "That's why I want to get it out of the way _now_. Come on, Pinako, don't tell me you haven't _thought_ about sleeping with me." The thought had a occurred to her, but so had the indistinct thought of trying to take down the good-for-nothing military, but she never would have attempted _that_.

"Thinking's different from doin', and you _know_ it!"

He chuckles softly. "I bet the real thing'll pale the fantasy by comparison, then."

"My son'll be home any minute, you know," Pinako tries to reason, but to no avail. She always knows she's lost. Still, she refuses to go down without a fight. "I may not understand your alchemy, but I know enough to know what's what. And truth is, I know we _shouldn't_ do this."

"We have been permitted to seek beauty only in the _morally good_ - a fact which sufficiently accounts for our having found so little of it and having had to seek about for imaginary beauties without backbone! - As surely as the wicked enjoy a hundred kinds of happiness of which the virtuous have no inkling, so too they possess a hundred kinds of beauty; and many of them have not yet been discovered. Nietzsche said that." Pinako stares blankly at Hohenheim, and he uses this moment to his advantage, and takes her once more in his arms.

"I don't get it," Pinako says simply, having by now given up the fight completely.

He nuzzles her throat. "It means that it even though you'll think what we're going to do right now is wicked, you're going to love it." He lifts her lips gently to his own, and at this point who is she to disagree? For the moment, she can pretend she gets it.


End file.
